yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
