omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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