i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
