My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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