That's intense
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
