he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
