your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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