At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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