Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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