My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
