love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
