Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
