walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
