I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
