remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My liver is preforming stress tests.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
