I can tuck mytits in my pants
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
