my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
