you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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