He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
