Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
