Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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