Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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