he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
