Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
