We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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