Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
