I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize