I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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