if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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