Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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