is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
