forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
