I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
