I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
