brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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