He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
