I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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