'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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