I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
