morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my shit smells like andre
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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