He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
