I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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