At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
