Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
