You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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