dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
