i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
