I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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