My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it hurts more in the daytime
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
