Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
