we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
