Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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