He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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