we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
