dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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