Since when is my name a synonym for head?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
