wake up i wanna do it froggy style
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
