Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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