This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
