You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she was so not down for the gang bang
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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